Taking in the Good
You might be surprised by what I’m about to tell you. We’ve all been told we shouldn’t avoid our negative emotions, like pain, sadness, or anger, and that we need to “face our fears” to overcome them. But what about our positive emotions? I’m here to tell you that you probably don’t focus on them enough. Our brains are hardwired to have a “negativity bias”, so the negative experiences and emotions stick in our memory like glue, and their positive counterparts slide right out like a slippery fish.
An article from the National Institutes of Health reported the findings of Dr. J. Richardson, a neuroscientist at the University of Wisconsin-Madison: “‘Individuals who are able to savor positive emotions have lasting activation in the ventral striatum,’ Davidson says. ‘The longer the activation lasts, the greater his or her feelings of well-being.’ Continued activation of this part of the brain has been linked to healthful changes in the body, including lower levels of a stress hormone” (Wein & Hicklin, Positive emotions and your health, 2015).
Taking in the good is learning how to let our best memories, our achievements, our success stories, and the beauty around us sink in and become a resource for when we start to feel down.
How do we “take in the good”? Psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson, senior fellow at UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, developed 4 simple steps to do this. Just remember the acronym, HEAL (Hanson, Rick Hanson's HEAL Yourself 2019):Have a positive experience
Enrich it
Absorb it
Link positive and negative material
“Have a positive experience” sounds easy enough, but many of us go through seasons where we can’t escape stress, exhaustion, or grief. What do you do then? Find out what makes your soul feel good and find a way to squeeze it into your schedule. Make it a priority. Remember, helping yourself also helps those around you who love you who feel they can’t reach you because you’re too busy or overwhelmed.
Next, "Enrich it" by staying with this good feeling for five to ten seconds or longer. Open yourself up to this good feeling; enjoy it, and encourage the good feeling to intensify. Turn it over in your mind. See how it can nourish you or help you, or make a difference in your life. Move from enriching the positive feeling to “Absorbing it” by visualizing the experience or feeling sinking into you, becoming a part of you. Put it on like a cozy sweater and let the coziness sink in. Know that this positive feeling or experience has now become a resource inside of you that follows you wherever you go.The last step, “Link positive and negative material”, is optional. Negative emotions lose their power when linked to a positive feeling. When trying this out for the first time, it is recommended to do this with the help of a mental health professional. Every time we access a memory, we change it in the process. So with the right tools and help, you can use your positive memories to decrease the hold negative experiences and emotions have on you by holding both the negative and positive memory in your awareness at the same time. Of course, it is important to use stress tolerance coping skills and take breaks during this process so as not to overwhelm your nervous system. So now you know how to Take in the Good, and how to use this to boost your mood, decrease stress, and support overall well-being.
MEET THE AUTHOR
Madeline Verdesca, Masters Level Clinician
Madeline joins Renovating Hope Counseling with over four years of experience working with individuals and families in a variety of settings including hospital and community mental health. She believes every person brings a unique point of view to the counseling room and that each person is inherently valuable and has the capacity for growth, joy, and true fulfillment. Madeline practices from a client-centered approach, and she utilizes Cognitive Behavioral (CBT) and Experiential Therapy techniques, with a trauma-informed approach.
